I swear to Drunk I'm not Oz!
by colourmebeautiful
Summary: Everyone loves a drunk story, and I'm no different! Fiyeraba with hints of Flinda, Gelphie if you're into that.. and Bessa. Formerly "Of Vodka Shots and Ozmopolitans"


"Elphie, come on! It'll be _fun!"_ Elphaba shrugged, and continued reading her book. "Elphie!" Galinda tugged at Elphaba's sleeve, and Elphaba quietly moved her arm to turn the page of her book.

"Galinda, I'm _not_ going to the Oz Dust again. Just go, have fun." She turned the page again. "What? Stop looking at me like that!"

"Elphaba, pleeeeeeeeeeease?" She whined, and Elphaba rolled her eyes.

"Galinda, it's a party thrown by one of your friends. They don't want me there. Just go without me." She curled her legs under her and brought the book closer to her nose. After a minute, she lowered the book, and jumped when she saw Galinda's face uncomfortably close to her own.

"Come on Elphie, you've been reading for too long! Lets go have FUN!" Galinda pulled the book out of her friends hand and tugged her up.

"Galinda, really, I just want to stay he-" She broke off as she saw Galinda rifle through her wardrobe. The blonde was already dressed. Elphaba gulped. "Glin – no. I'll just wear my blue dress." She could have sworn she saw Galinda shudder. "Please..no makeover. I'll be ready in five minutes this way. You're late already!" Elphaba sounded nervous and was slowly backing away from Galinda, who was by now wielding a mascara wand. "Get –" Elphaba walked even more quickly backwards "-that – thing – AWAY FROM ME!" She bumped into the wall, and ducked down to avoid the manically grinning blonde.

As Galinda ducked down and grabbed the green girl's wildly flailing arms in an attempt to pin her to the wall, there was a knock on the door. Galinda turned to answer it, and Elphaba sank to the floor in relief.

Galinda yanked open the door, upset at having the "makeover" interrupted. She soon cheered up when she saw Fiyero stood there, leaning against the door, a bored expression on his face. He smiled when he saw Galinda, bending down to kiss her lightly. He peered into the room behind her, and his eyes looked first at Elphaba, slumped against the wall and panting from avoiding Galinda, and then at Galinda, her face red and her hair ruffled from where Elphaba had tried to pull at it.

"Did I..er, interrupt something?" He chuckled.

"I was just giving Elphie -" Galinda began, until Fiyero held up his hand to stop her.

"Please, don't try to explain explain," he grinned "it would only ruin it for me." Elphaba rolled her eyes. "Ready to go? Elphie?"

--

An hour later, after coaxing from both Galinda and Fiyero (she was now convinced that, combined, they were the devil), Elphaba was sat next to Galinda, waiting for Fiyero to bring them drinks. She shifted uncomfortably, dressed as she was in Galinda's only black dress. The sparkles and ruffles were a little too much, but Elphaba actually quite liked it. Hell, she'd even let Galinda add a dab of gloss to her lips, but that was just because they'd been chapped from the cold weather lately. And maybe she'd put some eye shadow on while Galinda was in the bathroom, but that was just because she looked tired, and it made her eyes brighter. And she may have added that stupid pink flower to her hair. Just, y'know..for fun. She hadn't even noticed the way Fiyero's jaw dropped a little when she emerged from the dorm room after twenty minutes. Or the way his eyes had kept drifting from Galinda to her when he thought she wasn't looking.

He waltzed back to the table, bright pink drinks in his hand, and a small glass of some clear liquid held in his teeth. He handed one to Galinda, and one to Elphaba. Galinda squealed, Elphaba merely wrinkled her nose. As Fiyero sat down, Galinda saw Shen Shen, and ran over to greet her.

"What's in this?" Elphaba eyed the liquid suspiciously.

"N'idea." Said Fiyero, forgetting the glass gripped his teeth. He removed it, and downed the liquid in one, shuddering slightly. "Eurgh." Elphaba rolled her eyes, and took a cautious sip of the drink. She winced.

"Is the drink ok?"

"It's very..sweet.."

"It's what Galinda has every time we're here. The bar tender just started pouring when we came in, I guess. He started pouring one for me, so I had to order the manliest drink I could think of." He stuck his tongue out as if trying to get rid of the taste. "I fucking hate vodka." Elphaba laughed, despite his foul language, and took another sip of the lurid drink.

"I've never had it." She said, not really sure why she felt the need to state the obvious. Fiyero grinned. "What?"

"Nothing.."

"What have you guys been talking about?" Galinda hurried back over, plopping herself in Fiyero's lap. He automatically pulled her closer and nuzzled her hair slightly, and Elphaba felt a twinge in her stomach.

"Vodka." Elphaba took a deep swig of her drink; the music was too loud, she felt uncomfortable, and the drink was quickly making her feel mellower. "You were only gone a minute or two..we weren't having a world summit or anything." The words came out harsher than she had meant them to sound. She smoothed out the complicated fabric of her dress.

Galinda stared at Elphaba for a moment, hurt in her eyes. She turned to Fiyero. "C'mon Yero, lets dance!" She hopped off his lap and pulled him up, scurrying over to the dance floor. Fiyero shrugged at Elphaba, and turned to dance with Galinda. Elphaba sighed, and swallowed the remnants of the fluorescent cocktail, the unbearable sweetness making her purse her lips.

She looked over at the door, longing for freedom. Just then, she saw her sister, wheeled in by Boq. She waved, and Nessa smiled, wheeling herself to her side.

"Elphaba! What are you doing here?" For once, her sister looked genuinely happy to see her.

"Galinda dragged me here. You?"

"It's Averic's party. You know he's friends with Boq." Nessa frowned. "Sort of." Elphaba nodded; she was well aware of their love-hate friendship. "So he invited Boq, and Boq brought me."

Boq approached, drinks in his hand. He handed a glass to Nessa, and one to Elphaba.

"I got you these. The bartender said that's what you'd been drinking." Elphaba took a sip, spluttering when she saw Nessa's face after her first sip.

"Nessie's not used to alcohol." She laughed.

"It's devil's-water." She said curtly. She looked at Boq, and took another sip. "I guess a little's.. good for you though.." Elphaba knew she was lying; she'd been the victim of Nessa's lectures about alcohol before. She was a little ashamed of how much Nessa was willing to do, merely to please Boq.

The song finished, and Galinda and Fiyero wandered back to the table. Fiyero went back to the bar and ordered another shot, which he downed while he thought no one was looking. Elphaba raised an eyebrow at him when he returned, but said nothing. She could understand how liquid courage would help when dealing with Galinda.

"Oooh Elphie! Is that your second Ozmo?! Do you like them? We can be like..drink sisters!" Galinda squealed, not stopping to breath.

"It's a little..pink." Everyone laughed, and silence descended as everyone drank for a moment. Fiyero got up again and ordered a beer.

"Galinda, I've had enough of this thing. D'you want it?" Galinda nodded eagerly, and decanted it into her own glass.

"Thanks Elphie!"

"Careful" warned Fiyero "those things get her drunk in like five minutes." He wasn't entirely sober himself now, his eyes shining slightly from the vodka.

"Mm, she is giggling a little less than she normally does.." offered Elphaba "maybe that means she's always drunk, but alcohol sobers her up." Fiyero laughed a little louder than was perhaps necessary, and Galinda elbowed him. He whispered something in her ear, and she kissed him. Elphaba and Boq looked away.

"I'm going to get another drink." Elphaba got up out of her chair and walked over to the bar. The bartender was a rather grumpy looking Mouse. "Err, hi..can I have..err.." She realised she didn't know anything about alcohol. She really didn't want a beer, but she wanted to get rid of the weird feeling in her chest. "A shot of vodka please." The Mouse nodded, and handed her a glass. She walked back to the table, and slipped back into her seat.

"Elphaba, please tell me that's water." Nessa's stern voice made Elphaba jump slightly.

"Of course it is." Elphaba lied smoothly. Fiyero raised an eyebrow.

"Because they serve water in shot glasses here." Elphaba kicked him. "OW!"

"Elphaba.." Before Nessa could say anything else, Elphaba had downed the drink. Galinda stared at her, wide eyed.

"How can you drink so quickly?" Asked Galinda, puzzled. Fiyero snorted.

"That's nothing." Elphaba raised an eyebrow.

"Oh really? Bring it on, Prince-boy." With alcohol in her system, Elphaba felt bolder than she ever had before.

"Oh, you're so dead, green girl." He got up, forgetting about Galinda, who fell to the floor with a squeak. He walked over to the bar, and ordered a round of shots. He walked back, the drinks balanced on a tray, and handed a glass to the four people sat round the table. Nessa looked edgy as everyone took one, and sighed. She reached out and took one as well. How strong could it be?

Fiyero looked at Elphaba, his eyes narrowed. "Ready? One..two..go!" Everyone raised their glasses and drank. Elphaba slammed her glass on the table in triumph.

"HA!"

"Rematch."

"No way!"

"Go on!"

"Fiyero, let's dance."

"I'm tired."

"We've only danced once tonight." Galinda pouted, and Fiyero relented.

"Come on then." They walked over to the dance floor, hand in hand. Both Elphaba and Boq stared at them for a moment, jealousy stinging their chests. Nessa coughed, snapping both of the back to life.

"Boq! You came!" Averic walked over to the group, swaying slightly. His speech was slurred, and Elphaba wrinkled her nose at the scent of whisky. "And you brought Wheelchair! And Green!"

"My name is Nessarose! And her name is Elphaba!" Nessa protested, and Averic mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like "Whatever, Wheelchair."

"Show some respect!" Elphaba suddenly snapped at him. "We don't call you 'Arsehole'. Yet." Averic stared at her.

"Green's got attitude! I like that!" He grinned, and walked off.

"Sorry about that.." Boq murmered.

"I think I'm going to go." Nessa began to wheel herself towards the door, and Elphaba got up to follow her.

"No. I'll go. You stay here, enjoy yourself." Boq mournfully stole one more wistful glance at Galinda, then followed Nessa.

Elphaba sighed. Alone again. She reached for Fiyero's beer, wanting to enhance the warm sensation she was feeling.

"Fine, drink my beer." Fiyero slipped into the seat next to her. "Galinda's dancing with Averic. There's a queue, actually. She might be a while." They both laughed. "D'you want another drink?"

"Please. Anything."

"Maybe water?"

"No. Alcohol. Please." She inhaled, feeling dizzy as Fiyero's aftershave got caught up with the air. "I haven't had much."

"Uhuh... Vodka ok?" He was smiling widely, and Elphaba noticed he swayed slightly when he got up.

"Fine." Elphaba turned her gaze to the dance floor. Galinda looked so pretty. Why couldn't she be pretty? Why was Galinda pretty, perky and blonde? Why was she grouchy, nerdy and green?

"Fiyero," she asked when she got back, "D'you think Galinda's pretty?" He blinked.

"Of course. Why?"

"D'you think I'm pretty?" She yawned, the alcohol making her feel sleepy now. She laughed. "Actually, don't answer that." She drank the shot, grimacing at the taste. She noticed Fiyero was staring at her. "What?"

"You're beautiful."

"What? You're just saying that cos –" she felt that third vodka hit her "-cos you're drunk." She giggled. She _never_ giggled. "I wish I was pretty. Like her. Like you."

"I'm not pretty!" he burst out, puffing his chest up in defiance. "I'm _handsome_. Rugged, even." He placed a hand on his chest.

"Is that.._nail polish?"_ He snatched his hand back to his side.

"No..its, err..shiny in here!"

"You've gone red! It _is_ nail polish! You're bright red!"

"You're bright green!"

"Girl."

"Cabbage."

"Shall I call you Fiyerissa now?"

"Can I call you..er..Iceberg now?"

"What?!"

"Like the lettuce!"

"Oh. You're an idiot."

"Shup, Stringy!"

"_Stringy?_"

"Like the beans."

"Ok, Princess of the Vinkus!"

"Oi!" He reached over and tickled her, causing her to shriek in a very Galinda like way.

"Sorry, ma'am, did I offend you?" She squealed. "Careful, Princess, you might chip your nail polish!"

"Its not nail polish! It's shiny in here, I told you!"

"Oh right, and I'm just green cos of the lighting. Or the sea."

"What?"

"No clue."

"You're drunk!"

"So are you."

"But you're..Elphaba."

"NO! Really?! Are you sure?" She stared at him. "You're a genius." She yawned. "I'm gonna.." she stood up, and wobbled slightly. "Go..go..erm..home." She leant down and kissed him on the cheek, leaving her cheek next to his a second longer than was appropriate. He gulped.

"I'll walk you." He stood up, swaying slightly.

--

They walked closely together, hands brushing each other uncertainly. Silence had descended upon the campus, and neither of them wanted to disturb it. They reached Crope Hall, and Elphaba said goodnight, turning to walk in. Fiyero caught her arm, and pulled her into a hug. She allowed herself to be hugged, wrapping her arms gently around his waist, and resting her head on his shoulder. Her head was clouded with alcohol, but she could have sworn that she felt his lips rest on her forehead.

After a while, they broke the hug, Elphaba stumbling up the steps and waving goodbye. Fiyero sighed, and walked in the direction of the Ozdust to find Galinda, struggling to ignore the sudden tightness in his chest, and his sadness that Elphaba was not with him.

In the morning, neither of them would remember their embrace. But, many years later, Fiyero would wonder what it would be like to hold Elphaba, not knowing that he already knew.

--

**A/N: I felt a bit weird writing this..I hope it makes sense/people actually like it. If you read it, just drop a review by, it only takes a second AND I accept anonymous reviews. Go on, make my day. Seriously. :D Oh and sorry if Elphaba was a little OOC..I read it through, and didn't think it was too bad, she is drunk after all! Revieeew!**


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